“At once they left their nets and followed him.”
Matthew 4:20
“…Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.”
Matthew 4:21-22
They were busy in a lawful occupation when he called them to be ministers: our Lord does not call idlers but fishers – Spurgeon
STORY TIME:
Softball was life. My identity was in it, my happiness, strength, encouragement, commitment, effort, focus, relationships… you get the picture. Ball was life. When people called my parents to ask if they wanted to go out or attend a family get together, the answer was always “we would love to, but we have a tournament this weekend”. When my friends asked if I wanted to go outside and play, I respectfully declined because I would have practice halfway across town. In my club years practice was three times a week Monday, Wednesday, Friday from 6-9. Tournament weekends would begin as early as 7:00am and end at 9:00pm Saturday. Sunday would be a less strenuous day depending on how you were seeded. High School was a little easier, I only had club in the fall and then school ball in the spring but practice was everyday with the exception of Sunday and we had games during the week. College…a whole completely different ball game, both literally and metaphorically. Allow me to lay out the schedule for you.
Fall: Pre-Season
M/W/F
7:00am – Conditioing
8:00am – Weights
9:00am-12noon – class
1:00pm – 5:00 pm – Practice
Tuesday:
Hitting Groups
Thursdays:
OFF!!!!!!
Weekends:
Scrimmages
This is a team schedule, but if you were in the Bullpen there’s a lot more to this than I care to type out. AND GUESS WHAT. I was in the bullpen. It was glorious.
Although this schedule looks daunting (which it physically and mentally is) I. Loved. It. The routine, the feelings of accomplishment, the commitment and the people who put it together, were my muse. I love the sound of cleats shuffling through dirt, the pop a glove makes when the ball is caught and the harmonious sound of my teammates chattering on the field and in the dugout. I loved how unpredictable the game was and its rules. To sum this babbling up: I love this game.
Playing in college was my dream (even though it was a nightmare. Another story, another time). It was a privilege. But I was called out of it.
Like the Fishermen who were called out of their boats, Jesus called me to the Race. The summer before returning to school I was contemplating whether I should play in the up coming season or not. My heart had been in the beginning stages of being torn. As the semester approached I put off my thoughts of change and made the decision to return. However, as the semester went on my passion, love and desire for the game dwindled. I was hurt by the sudden change of heart, without realizing that this is exactly what I had been praying about the whole time. God had been preparing my heart for something great and I had no Idea what it was.
My prayers had been mainly about God challenging me, changing me and opportunity. On several occasions when I was venting to Him about my attitude and feelings, He interrupted me saying “I am asking you to make a choice, walk away and walk with me.” My response, “LOL, ok”. (Once you get to know me, you get used to me actually speaking IM)
Even though I knew exactly what God was asking me to do. I didn’t do it. (: It’s actually really funny because by ignoring Him I actually made things a lot harder for my team, coaches and myself. It was great. Rebellion, it’s awesome. 10/10 do not recommend.
At the end of the semester, I had finally made the decision to walk away from softball. But walking away didn’t mean just losing the game. It meant losing people, losing a scholarship, losing… me. So, in my fall exit meeting with my coaches I presented them with a letter. Each written in a different way to fit my relationship and delivery to them.
They were upset, not angry.
They were disappointed.
They were surprised.
They didn’t understand why I couldn’t finish out the season.
However, that is what I needed to do. It’s what I was called to do.
At this time, I knew that I wanted to do the World Race, I applied and had an interview but was not yet chosen. I just knew, unequivocally, that I was being called to leave. I hung up my cleats and hung on my cross, I’m glad that I chose to listen to the one who knows what is best for me.
I wanted to be just like Simon and Andrew. I wanted to drop my nets, leave my profession and follow Him. So, thats exactly what I did.
I was prompted to write this because of one of my friends, Rene Clark. She wrote a blog on “Hard and Holy things” and this, my friend, was a hard and holy decision followed by action. My prayer is that in someway, this will encourage you to step out of your boat.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
– Mariss
