Actually, Life Is Beautiful & I Have Time.

What is UP EVERYBODY?! Long time no read, am I write (Haha, I hope you laughed, if not, re-read the line and try again) 

I’ve waited too long to write this blog! Reasons being, I was plagued with shame because I had spilled the beans on what my next steps were for my future – Attending College at Moody this coming Fall – and I was worried that people would judge me for changing my plans and mind for the MILLIONTH time. However, the more I think about my life and how cool it’s been, the less I care about what others think about what it “should” look like. Thank God I don’t have to listen to anyone but Him, about what my life should look like. Thank God that His word doesn‘t say, “Thou Shalt attendeth University and average $100,000 a year in a career”.(Let’s be honesty, ain’t nobody going to seminary to average a 6 figure salary lol, if they are, then let me know where they’re making that kind of money bc it’s a SCAM)

anywayyyyy…

There is nothing wrong with living life that way, but that’s just not how I want to live mine and I don’t believe that’s what God is calling me to or gifting to me.

Don’t get me wrong, moving to Chicago would have been such a wonderful thing to do. It would have added cultural and scenic change in my life. I would have been a student again, which I love. It would have been the embarkment of a future in ministry. All of these things I relish but not as much as I enjoy discipling the next generation. What can I say, God called me to teach and that’s exactly what discipleship is, an avenue of teaching others what it looks like to walk in  servant leaderships and develop spiritual disciplines with Christ, The Holy Spirit. 

So, as of 3 weeks ago, I am officially Squad Leading Gap Year – AGAIN! Which means, I will be actively present with a Squad for 9 months as they grow in their walk with Christ by learning to serve others and share the Good News of Jesus Christ among the Nations of Costa Rica, Romania and Cambodia. What better way to spend my time? 

At first, I viewed this decision as last stitch attempt to delay the inevitable, going back to college and settle down in one place for couple of years straight. Lowkey, that sounds like a nightmare to me but also, so, so appealing because I love to settle into good places. Luckily, I’ve scratched that itch by moving across country to Athens, Georgia. Which happens to be the best decision I could have made for myself. I live in a beautiful state, that has more green vegetation than I could have imagined. I live in a home with the people that I will get to enjoy the next 9 months with as a leadership team. I have a job that I genuinely love showing up for everyday. I have friends that I dearly love and care for. God has gifted me a beautiful season of community, provision, rest, space and freedom. He has, truly, outdone Himself. 

I have come to realize that living in America, for me, means that I’m constantly in “crunch time” mode. This looks like constantly being busy, make “big moves”, saying “yes” to the “right decisions/opportunities”. Taking 30 minutes a day to enjoy a meal, just to go back to work for another 5 hours, only using Friday Night, Saturday and Sunday to have fellowship with my community. Bro, idk about you but that life just SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF ME. I never feel like I have time for anyone or anything because I am so caught up in making sure I’m living a responsible life, whatever that means. Since when did responsibility look like burning both ends of the candle and running on fumes? When did time become a rarity for rest with the Father and reservation for things or people we deem most important? 

l have been mulling over this question since March of 2020, when my squad and I were sent home from the field due to covid.

Why does any of this matter? 

Well it matters because I believe that some of you might need to hear what I’m going to say next. 

Y O U   H A V E   T I M E 

How many times have you thought to yourself, or said to someone, “man, I would love to do that but, I just don’t have time” 

I say, “That’s enough!!” God has gifted you time!!! Use it, use it wisely, use it freely, use it honorably – don’t spare it. Don’t frivolously, cautiously, depict a schedule of events so that you’re locked into a timeline of anxiousness, stress and regret. Say, “no” to typical choices and “yes” to adventurous ones. Show your friends, family, kids, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, WHOEVER, that you’re not a tree stuck in one place only bearing one kind of fruit!!! Show the world that Jesus has given you a RADICAL life of freedom and adventure. 

Sure, this all sounds a bit far from reach, you have bills, you have responsibilities, but you’re true purpose doesn‘t hang on either of those things, your purpose hangs on Christ and Christ alone. Be willing to venture into the unknown with The Father and make some abnormal choices. 

I’m done living in that space, the space of unmet expectations and the gallery of “could have been“ paintings of my life. I’m only moving forward in complete expectancy and thrill, of my moveable “Yes” to Jesus. Which is exactly what choosing to Squad Lead is, my choice to be a 25 year old non-degree earning, part time daycare working, Christ loving, disciple making, world traveling woman. Who also happens to pay her bills and desires to move up the worlds career ladder, but not this year. 

Finally, I’m okay with that and Actually, life is beautiful and I have time. 

Thanks for reading, please reach out to me so I can’t pray for you and hear about your adventurous decisions moving forward!

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

– Marissa Morales