I Am No Fool

Although yesterday was April 1st, infamously known as April Fool’s day, it was no joke to me. This weekend many people celebrated Easter in various ways. Some people observe Easter as a weekend of family fun and community, others think of it as just an ordinary weekend, but not I. Easter is the weekend that my heart is most heavy. It’s the one weekend that I am truly and solely focused on Jesus and what He has done for me. However, that all changes this year. 

I know what you’re thinking, “LOL, what?”. 

You read that correctly, I am changing this particular routine in my life. This past week I participated in something called, “Holy Week”. Holy Week is a week long look at the seven last words of Jesus before he took His last breath on the cross. On Monday, I went to my church for an hour and read through a two page worksheet that laid out all seven words, along with scriptures to reference for understanding and pondering. As I read through the list, through the scriptures, prayed and marveled, I also wept. Filled with joy and grief, I questioned myself and my faith; not in way that questions belief, but in a way that questions understanding. I asked myself over and over again, “Do you really know the magnitude of this situation? Do you get this?”. 

The more I read and looked up certain words prior to Monday and what they meant or what context they were being spoken in, my eyes were opened. Holy Week made me realize that I was living out a superficial faith, living out a faith that only scratched the surface of what was truly meant to be known.

Throughout my four year journey of seeking I have learned and I have read that I have been forgiven, changed, died for, made new, all of the things. But do I really know what these things mean and do I really live as if they are truly applicable to me? The answer is, no. I have discovered that I don’t actually recognize Jesus’ sacrifice on a daily basis. I am not grateful for it or mindful of it like I should be. I was just someone who was bought in because I believed what I read, not because I understood what I read. I didn’t understand the cross. I didn’t understand what Jesus went through. I never studied his words as if they were real. As embarrassing as this is to admit, I have to ask you…

Have you ever been there? 

Now the question I ask myself is, “Marissa, do you dare to only recognize what God has done for you, once a year?”

I know that Easter weekend is for all of us to come together and celebrate as a church but the point that I am trying to make is that I haven’t even been celebrating this as an individual. That is why I am sharing this because I am hoping that you too will be able to look inwardly and ask yourself if you’re guilty of it too. 

Although yesterday was April 1st, infamously known as April Fool’s day, it was no joke to me. Leading up to the day that I celebrated the resurrection of my Savior, I too was brought back to life. My heart and head have finally understood the foundation of my faith and why it is such a BIG DEAL. It is a big deal because someone planned His death for me AND YOU. That way we would have a way to heaven. It was no surprise, it was no accident, it was purposeful and genuine. It was romantic and heart wrenching. It is life changing and saving. It is the genesis of eternity with our Creator. 

This past week of contemplation has been a week long resurrection of my spirit. It has been a week of exposure. It has been the week I have decided that I am going to make everyday Easter, by celebrating the life of my savior and what He has done for me and not confining it to a single weekend. I do know the significance of why we celebrate at a specific time of year, but I am going to take this one step further; By making sure that I am mindful and grateful of Who I am celebrating but doing so on a daily basis. Because, I am no fool, I know that I am in need of a daily reminder of who Jesus is, what He has accomplished and why it is so important. 

Thanks for reading.

Yours in Christ,

Mariss.