The other night I was babysitting for a friend of mine and her little homies wanted to watch a movie before they went to bed. Of course the siblings tactfully bantered each other about the individual movies that they suggested to me, so I gave them and ultimatum, “Agree on a movie or I choose for us.” Finally, they both looked at me with a grin and said, “You pick.” Honestly, I was so hoping they would come to that conclusion because I already had my mind made up about what I wanted to watch. (Not what they wanted to watch LOL. Just kidding, kids always love this movie so we both win (;) My go-to movie is always The Prince of Egypt.
**If you haven’t seen this movie or haven’t shown it to your little homies, do yourself and your kids a favor and watch it**
Anyway, brief synopsis: This movie is about the Exodus which is a pivotal event in Israel’s history. The nation of Israel was enslaved by the Egyptians for hundreds of years and in the midst of their slavery, Pharaoh became uneasy about the demographic growth of the Israelites. Due to his fear of being over thrown by a nation he had battered into fearful submission, he decided to strike again by killing babies who were three years old or younger. However, Moses was delivered from the hand of Pharaoh because his mom snuck him to the river, put him in a basket and prayed that he would float to safety. Moses was later recovered by a maid and given to Pharaoh’s wife. He was then raised as royalty in an Egyptian home thus beginning his story of discovering who he truly was and who he belonged to. God used him to lead the Nation of Israel out from under Pharaoh into the Promised Land. (This is NOT the whole story, I highly recommend reading it in its entirety from the book of Exodus, the second book in the Bible. It is incredible, to say the least.)
There has never been a time where I have watched this movie and not learn something from it. Yes, it is a children’s movie, yes, it is theatrical but so is God. He always knows how to get creative and put on a show.
One of the scenes in the movie had stirred me. It was when Moses had been wandering in the desert after fleeing Egypt because he had killed a man. He makes it to Midian and is being welcomed in a ceremony as the honored guest. When Jethro, the high priest, introduces Moses as “Honored”, Moses hangs his head and says, “Please sir, I wish you wouldn’t. I have done nothing in my life worth honoring.”
DUDE…
I can definitely relate to Moses. Have you ever felt like that?
Like the weight of a mistake has been so heavy that you feel as if you’ll never move again, you’re just pinned underneath it? I have.There comes a time in our lives when we stand face to face with a consequence because we have screwed up, big time. Our mistakes stare back at us and look straight into our souls and pin point every vulnerable thought, emotion or weakness. They tear us up and devour our joy. They remind us of previous shortcomings and drag us into bitterness, self loathing and shame. They whisper doubts and lies into our ears, mistakes are ruthless.
Yes, we learn from them, yes they change us but what about when we are right in the thick of reaping what we sow? When we do face what we have done and it stands taller than we do?
“Where are you going with this?” You may or may not be asking.
I am, in a round about way, saying that I am Moses. However, I am no longer wandering through the desert; actually I stumbled into Midian and am being honored but reluctantly hanging my head and disagreeing with the One who calls me so. I feel just like Moses right now and it has been this way for about a year and a half. Like Moses, I don’t feel worthy of my calling. I don’t feel worthy of doing anything honorable for God. I’ve been scared and stuck in a place where I believe that I am unforgivable. Although the spiritual battle that I have been in hasn’t gotten any easier, I have gotten bigger and stronger but not because of a valliant effort on my part; But by graceful training on God’s part. I bounce back faster, I am quicker to turn to God when my sin begins to chip away at my heart. Because sin/mistakes are not who I am. Jesus brought me out of that and like Moses I have officially decided to put it all behind me and do what I am called to do, even if I don’t believe I am good enough for the job.
So now, I encourage you: If you’re battling, if you’re in the eye of your storm, keep fighting. Trust God when He honors you, even if you don’t deserve it. You never know if God’s going to ask you to lead a nation out of slavery.
Thanks for reading.
Mariss
**PSA: If you need prayer or someone to talk to. Call/Text me anytime.**
